If you've been online dating for any amount of time, you've seen bad profiles. They're either sparse, copied from someone more clever, use The Office as a character trait, or are completely blank. Then, you come across the perfect profile. It might be five words, three paragraphs, or a hilarious photo, but either way you're in stitches. We've scoured the internet (and the best dating apps) to pull together a list of some of the funniest dating profiles.
- How you approach your profile depends on what you're looking to get out of your dating experience. Writing your funny dating app bio. Not everyone is comfortable writing about themselves and certainly not trying to make themselves seem attractive on an app. Considering how important the bio is, that's a stumbling block for a lot of people.
- Catch Everyone's Attention With These Funny Dating Profile Quotes. Writing the perfect online dating bio is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do in your single life. You could be the wittiest, smartest, best looking individual, but trying to sum yourself up in an eye-catching way is one truly difficult feat.
- Using Kirkland and Rose's advice, we came up with a few more fun examples of lines you can use in your dating app profile: 8) 'The 3 most-recent Netflix shows I loved: The Haunting of Bly Manor.
1. The Truth
You're smart. This ain't your first rodeo. And You're not about to fall for the preposterous claims made by so many of the profiles on this site. So here's a refreshing perspective—the truth.
Oct 17, 2019 Best Dating Profile Examples for Guys #1: Fantasize Together. Women want to know where you're going. Dating a dude that's going nowhere may have been nice during high school, but now that the women around you are all grown up they'll want to invest in a man that has his life figured out. What you get on this page:. The 10 best dating profile examples for men. For Men, Ages: 20's, 30's, 40's & 50's+. Match.com, eHarmony, okCupid, JDate & POF profile examples. A woman's perspective on these profiles. Then I personally help fix your #1 Online Dating Attraction Killer free. Let's get started!
I pay my mortgage. I wear socks that match. I'm an honest man, with a decent career and strong values. So While I could regale you with stories of my trips to Paris or how I resemble Ryan Gosling…I know that good communication's a foundation for every relationship. So if we're on the same wavelength, read on…
2. Exaggeration
I am a rocket scientist. I've appeared on the cover of GQ—twice. And after mastering Italian, I became an international super spy. Right now, I'm yachting my way across the Caribbean, stealing top-secret information, and sipping mai tais…shaken, not stirred.
…Okay, fine. I exaggerated *just* a smidge. But I do like a good mai tai and I got a B+ in my 5th grade science class.
Funny Bio Ideas For Dating Site Photos
3. Blurbs
'He's a beast…in the kitchen' – Food & Wine
'Our go-to guy for fashion advice' – GQ
'I wish he was my personal trainer.' – The Hulk
'God made him so firemen would have a hero' – every fireman ever
'I'm so glad she swiped right' – your mom
What else do you need to know?
4. J/K!
Married with a baby on the way. Prefer the term 'collector' to 'hoarder.' Bonus points if you can look after my gerbil collection.
And: J/K! Single consultant who loves surfing. Into daily exercise so I don't feel guilty when I grab ice cream.
Your turn…Do you prefer swimming, dancing, or a 24-hour Netflix marathon?
5. A Few of My Favorite Things
I like…
The Frito smell of dog paws.
When I randomly decide to call an old friend and they say 'I was just thinking about you!'
The way little kids get grumpy and confused when they're tired.
That moment I get that Bumble BOOM! Message, and know someone I liked is into me too.
Funny Bio Ideas For Dating Sites
6. Goblin
Passionate goblin with 10+ years of experience, seeking to increase profitability for National Goblin Association. At — Goblin headquarters, slashed costs by 32% in 6 months by implementing Bloodletting training across all departments. Cut stockroom waste by 65% with new garbage binging techniques. Skilled in bone cleaning, whispering while in the dark, and proficient in Microsoft office.
7. The Girl You Can Take Home to Your Family
I'm the kinda girl you can take home to your family. I will then get closer to them than you are and we'll slowly phase you out.
8. Alpha Male
I hope you like alpha males because I'm your guy. That's right, I'm the whole package. I'll defend your honor in public, won't take shit from waiters, and I'll even get you pregnant, leave, and then come back to eat the child.
9. Christmas Tree
My brother once put me through a Christmas tree wrapping machine then my parents put me in the boot for the ride home.
10. Best Travel Story
I was in New Orleans when the Eagles won the Super Bowl. Long story short, my nipple may or may not have been pierced.
11. Not Down to Earth
I'm not down to earth at al. If you don't reply to my text I will turn up to your house drunk at 3 o'clock in the morning crying and trying to break in. I hate drinking tea and doing craft. I hate bicycles, the beach, sunshine, and parks. And Cider, I hate Cider.
12. Definitely Not a Murderer
My self-summary
I'm a fun loving guy and a self-starter who has absolutely no interest in committing murder. I'm looking for love, companionship, or just that one lovely evening (and rest assured that that one lovely evening will absolutely end with you back at your house, safe, and sound!) Let me take you into my magical world of not murdering anyone, ever, for any reason.
What I'm doing with my life
I'll tell you this right up front: Certainly not murdering ANYONE, least of all you! Beyond that, mostly digging.
13. A Terrible Liar
My self-summary
Here are the quick and dirty facts so you can get back to clicking through my photos: I'm a terrible liar and an excellent +1. You can usually find me managing my investments, hitting the gym, or catching up with a friend over cocktails and tapas. And I'm incredibly judgemental…when it comes to T-bone steaks. Otherwise, I'm pretty easygoing. 😉
Tagged meet chat and dating app free. What I'm doing with my life
When I'm not in the ER, you can often find me visiting the kind of far flung destination that requires a passport. Remote locations like Santiago or Zanzibar have always spoken to me. But usually it's in Spanish or Swahili…so I can't understand a word they're saying.
14. The Best Thing on the Internet
About Me
Ladies, your time has come. I'm serious – stop reading and message me right away, because I am the best thing that could ever happen to you on the internet. Better than gym selfies. Better than 14 Facebook likes. And even better than kitten GIFs. Okay, okay, maybe not better than those. Because what can top that?
If we're being honest, I'm probably not really the 'best thing' ever. I have falws too. First of all, I don't have Jon Snow's flowing locks. I sometimes wash my lights with my darks. And I never ask for directions – ever.
Maybe you can see past that thought? 😉
As for my career… Well, I got my first taste of what it means to be an entrepreneur when I was a kid, selling 25 cent cups of lemonade and giving away free extra-salty potato chips. I've since moved up to buying and selling Internet comapnies, but I still love Lay's potato chips.
I'm a non-apologetic big city dweller at heart, but that doesn't stop me from rounding up friends on a beautiful weekend and hitting the ski slopes, or grabbing my mountain bike for some trail riding. And I'm always thinking about my next trip… I hear good things about New Zealand.
As for the woman I'd like to meet… Your friends would describe you as 'intelligent,' 'ambitious,' and 'kleptomaniacal'… Okay, maybe not the last one. And while I love potatoes in most of their forms, 'couch potato' isn't one of them. Physical fitness is important to you, as it is to me. And while you don't have to host your own NatGeo show, having a few awesome travel stories wouldn't hurt.
15. Cute and Smart
Respiratory Therapy Student
Cute enough to take your breath away, smart enough to bring it back.
16. Mat
I'm just hoping you don't walk all over me 😉
17. Forever Single
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Will I be single all my life
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When writing a bio on Tinder, there are many ways to catch somebody's attention, but being funny is of the best among them. Marilyn Monroe said, 'If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.' I think that line goes for most people.
While Tinder is full of unfunny and unoriginal bios left and right, there are still quite a few gems. Here's a list of over 30 funny tinder bios that will inspire you to spruce up your own profile.
Dating Site Bio
I like my men like I like my coffee, ground up and in the freezer.
I like sticking my hands in towels. And I like smelling books.
I'm looking for a guy who is really trusting and healthy! You must have both kidneys, non smoker, and not be a big drinker or take any drugs that could damage the liver…Type O negative blood a plus! ESFP
Shit, I'd date me.
I feel as out of place on tinder as a nun doing squats in a cucumber field.
I take hot showers because I like practicing burning in hell.
I don't have Ebola.
My ideal date? I pick you up in my car, and there's candles gently licking the air on the dashboard ‘Rich, there's candles on the dashboard', I smile. ‘Yeah, I know.' We take a drive, go to a restaurant, have a wonderful meal and talk about life, goals, and ideals. As we leave, you notice my car is ablaze. ‘Rich, your car is on fire!'. ‘It's okay – it's not mine' – at which point I pull out marshmallows. We cook them & eat them. Then I kiss you passionately. In front of the burning car.
Let's be honest I'm on Tinder and my first picture is of me in a bikini, I'm not looking for a relationship or a friend.
All men are pigs and I'm in the mood for bacon.
I do stuff, I also do things.
Roses are red, bacon is red. Poems are hard. Bacon.
Hello Ladies, Look at the last guy you matched, now back to me, now back to the last guy you matched, now back to me. Sadly, he isn't me, but if he stopped leaving his bio blank, and had better pictures, he could be like me. Look down, back up, where are you? You're on Tinder with the man of your dreams. What's in your hand, back to me. I have it. It's a pizza with your favourite toppings on it. Look again, the Pizza is now your favourite dog. Anything's possible when you match me on Tinder.
I'm the kinda guy you can take home to meet your mom. She'll think I'm super funny, and charming.and cute, but actually kind of sexy at the same time? She falls in love with me. I.think I feel the same way. We get married. I'm your dad now. I confront you, ‘young lady why are you on Tinder?' You are now grounded.
Grandfather seeking companion for granddaughter. She suffers from poor choices.
Went to a party dressed as an egg, and got with a guy who was dressed as a chicken. A life long question was answered that night. It was the chicken…
Runner up for Time's ‘Sexiest IT Man Alive'. Once rescued a fireman and a puppy from a burning building. And after mastering French, I became an international super spy. Right now, I'm sailing across the Pacific, stealing top-secret information, and sipping Moscow Mules…shaken, not stirred. Okay, okay. Perhaps I exaggerated *just* a tad. But I can fix your laptop, and puppies love me. Message me for more straight talk, and I'll send you FB links, delicious cocktail recipes, and MUCH more.'
Threesome? No thanks…if I want to disappoint two people in the same room, I'd have dinner with my parents.
I accidentally (purposely) changed my name to Jeb Bush on Facebook in a 2AM burst of inspiration, not realizing you can't change it for 60 days, so if that doesn't tell you enough about me as a person then I don't know what to tell you
I lost my watch at a party once. An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was harassing some woman at that party. Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.
3. Blurbs
'He's a beast…in the kitchen' – Food & Wine
'Our go-to guy for fashion advice' – GQ
'I wish he was my personal trainer.' – The Hulk
'God made him so firemen would have a hero' – every fireman ever
'I'm so glad she swiped right' – your mom
What else do you need to know?
4. J/K!
Married with a baby on the way. Prefer the term 'collector' to 'hoarder.' Bonus points if you can look after my gerbil collection.
And: J/K! Single consultant who loves surfing. Into daily exercise so I don't feel guilty when I grab ice cream.
Your turn…Do you prefer swimming, dancing, or a 24-hour Netflix marathon?
5. A Few of My Favorite Things
I like…
The Frito smell of dog paws.
When I randomly decide to call an old friend and they say 'I was just thinking about you!'
The way little kids get grumpy and confused when they're tired.
That moment I get that Bumble BOOM! Message, and know someone I liked is into me too.
Funny Bio Ideas For Dating Sites
6. Goblin
Passionate goblin with 10+ years of experience, seeking to increase profitability for National Goblin Association. At — Goblin headquarters, slashed costs by 32% in 6 months by implementing Bloodletting training across all departments. Cut stockroom waste by 65% with new garbage binging techniques. Skilled in bone cleaning, whispering while in the dark, and proficient in Microsoft office.
7. The Girl You Can Take Home to Your Family
I'm the kinda girl you can take home to your family. I will then get closer to them than you are and we'll slowly phase you out.
8. Alpha Male
I hope you like alpha males because I'm your guy. That's right, I'm the whole package. I'll defend your honor in public, won't take shit from waiters, and I'll even get you pregnant, leave, and then come back to eat the child.
9. Christmas Tree
My brother once put me through a Christmas tree wrapping machine then my parents put me in the boot for the ride home.
10. Best Travel Story
I was in New Orleans when the Eagles won the Super Bowl. Long story short, my nipple may or may not have been pierced.
11. Not Down to Earth
I'm not down to earth at al. If you don't reply to my text I will turn up to your house drunk at 3 o'clock in the morning crying and trying to break in. I hate drinking tea and doing craft. I hate bicycles, the beach, sunshine, and parks. And Cider, I hate Cider.
12. Definitely Not a Murderer
My self-summary
I'm a fun loving guy and a self-starter who has absolutely no interest in committing murder. I'm looking for love, companionship, or just that one lovely evening (and rest assured that that one lovely evening will absolutely end with you back at your house, safe, and sound!) Let me take you into my magical world of not murdering anyone, ever, for any reason.
What I'm doing with my life
I'll tell you this right up front: Certainly not murdering ANYONE, least of all you! Beyond that, mostly digging.
13. A Terrible Liar
My self-summary
Here are the quick and dirty facts so you can get back to clicking through my photos: I'm a terrible liar and an excellent +1. You can usually find me managing my investments, hitting the gym, or catching up with a friend over cocktails and tapas. And I'm incredibly judgemental…when it comes to T-bone steaks. Otherwise, I'm pretty easygoing. 😉
Tagged meet chat and dating app free. What I'm doing with my life
When I'm not in the ER, you can often find me visiting the kind of far flung destination that requires a passport. Remote locations like Santiago or Zanzibar have always spoken to me. But usually it's in Spanish or Swahili…so I can't understand a word they're saying.
14. The Best Thing on the Internet
About Me
Ladies, your time has come. I'm serious – stop reading and message me right away, because I am the best thing that could ever happen to you on the internet. Better than gym selfies. Better than 14 Facebook likes. And even better than kitten GIFs. Okay, okay, maybe not better than those. Because what can top that?
If we're being honest, I'm probably not really the 'best thing' ever. I have falws too. First of all, I don't have Jon Snow's flowing locks. I sometimes wash my lights with my darks. And I never ask for directions – ever.
Maybe you can see past that thought? 😉
As for my career… Well, I got my first taste of what it means to be an entrepreneur when I was a kid, selling 25 cent cups of lemonade and giving away free extra-salty potato chips. I've since moved up to buying and selling Internet comapnies, but I still love Lay's potato chips.
I'm a non-apologetic big city dweller at heart, but that doesn't stop me from rounding up friends on a beautiful weekend and hitting the ski slopes, or grabbing my mountain bike for some trail riding. And I'm always thinking about my next trip… I hear good things about New Zealand.
As for the woman I'd like to meet… Your friends would describe you as 'intelligent,' 'ambitious,' and 'kleptomaniacal'… Okay, maybe not the last one. And while I love potatoes in most of their forms, 'couch potato' isn't one of them. Physical fitness is important to you, as it is to me. And while you don't have to host your own NatGeo show, having a few awesome travel stories wouldn't hurt.
15. Cute and Smart
Respiratory Therapy Student
Cute enough to take your breath away, smart enough to bring it back.
16. Mat
I'm just hoping you don't walk all over me 😉
17. Forever Single
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Will I be single all my life
Subscribe to our newsletter
By clicking Submit you agree to Zoosk's terms of use and privacy policy.
When writing a bio on Tinder, there are many ways to catch somebody's attention, but being funny is of the best among them. Marilyn Monroe said, 'If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything.' I think that line goes for most people.
While Tinder is full of unfunny and unoriginal bios left and right, there are still quite a few gems. Here's a list of over 30 funny tinder bios that will inspire you to spruce up your own profile.
Dating Site Bio
I like my men like I like my coffee, ground up and in the freezer.
I like sticking my hands in towels. And I like smelling books.
I'm looking for a guy who is really trusting and healthy! You must have both kidneys, non smoker, and not be a big drinker or take any drugs that could damage the liver…Type O negative blood a plus! ESFP
Shit, I'd date me.
I feel as out of place on tinder as a nun doing squats in a cucumber field.
I take hot showers because I like practicing burning in hell.
I don't have Ebola.
My ideal date? I pick you up in my car, and there's candles gently licking the air on the dashboard ‘Rich, there's candles on the dashboard', I smile. ‘Yeah, I know.' We take a drive, go to a restaurant, have a wonderful meal and talk about life, goals, and ideals. As we leave, you notice my car is ablaze. ‘Rich, your car is on fire!'. ‘It's okay – it's not mine' – at which point I pull out marshmallows. We cook them & eat them. Then I kiss you passionately. In front of the burning car.
Let's be honest I'm on Tinder and my first picture is of me in a bikini, I'm not looking for a relationship or a friend.
All men are pigs and I'm in the mood for bacon.
I do stuff, I also do things.
Roses are red, bacon is red. Poems are hard. Bacon.
Hello Ladies, Look at the last guy you matched, now back to me, now back to the last guy you matched, now back to me. Sadly, he isn't me, but if he stopped leaving his bio blank, and had better pictures, he could be like me. Look down, back up, where are you? You're on Tinder with the man of your dreams. What's in your hand, back to me. I have it. It's a pizza with your favourite toppings on it. Look again, the Pizza is now your favourite dog. Anything's possible when you match me on Tinder.
I'm the kinda guy you can take home to meet your mom. She'll think I'm super funny, and charming.and cute, but actually kind of sexy at the same time? She falls in love with me. I.think I feel the same way. We get married. I'm your dad now. I confront you, ‘young lady why are you on Tinder?' You are now grounded.
Grandfather seeking companion for granddaughter. She suffers from poor choices.
Went to a party dressed as an egg, and got with a guy who was dressed as a chicken. A life long question was answered that night. It was the chicken…
Runner up for Time's ‘Sexiest IT Man Alive'. Once rescued a fireman and a puppy from a burning building. And after mastering French, I became an international super spy. Right now, I'm sailing across the Pacific, stealing top-secret information, and sipping Moscow Mules…shaken, not stirred. Okay, okay. Perhaps I exaggerated *just* a tad. But I can fix your laptop, and puppies love me. Message me for more straight talk, and I'll send you FB links, delicious cocktail recipes, and MUCH more.'
Threesome? No thanks…if I want to disappoint two people in the same room, I'd have dinner with my parents.
I accidentally (purposely) changed my name to Jeb Bush on Facebook in a 2AM burst of inspiration, not realizing you can't change it for 60 days, so if that doesn't tell you enough about me as a person then I don't know what to tell you
I lost my watch at a party once. An hour later I saw some guy stepping on it while he was harassing some woman at that party. Infuriated, I immediately went over, punched him and broke his nose. No one does that to a woman, not on my watch.
Two reasons to date me:
- Because you'd be the good looking one
- Please
My brother once put me through a Christmas tree wrapping machine then my parents put me in the boot for the ride home.
Professional Eugoogoolizer at the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too.
Aye wassup, I'm Clint, I like to take girls out for a massive plate of barbecue ribs on a first date. I judge them according to how many and how aggressively they consume them. Whoever defeats me in this porcine endeavor shall become my warrior bride. My Boudicca. I'll set nations ablaze at her feet just to watch the flames dance in her eyes. Our love will be beautiful in its violence as a tempest hits the Bering Strait, and should it die; it dies as it began with a mount of bones between us.
I hope you like alpha males because I'm your guy. That's right, I'm the whole package. I'll defend your honor in public, won't take shit from waiters, and I'll even get you pregnant, leave, and then come back to eat the child.
I'm the kinda girl you can take home to your family. I will then get closer to them than you are and we'll slowly phase you out.
I'm on tinder to make friends the same way I'm on Pornhub to see the plumber repair the sink.
I like long walks on the beach with my girlfriend, until the LSD wears off and I realize I'm just dragging a stolen mannequin around a Wendy's parking lot.
Don't swipe right, just on here to catch my lying boyfriend.
Hey honey! If you're seeing this its over youre caught. Oh another thing that girl Brittney youre seeing sunday at 7pm in charlottesville to catch a movie. She has showed me everything. Were besties now bye loser!
I'm look for a girl who is super mean. She also has to be really clingy and jealous. I prefer women who talk a lot about their ex and a love for da bootyliciousness. In my free time I like to take off my shirt and take selfies. I'm super in shape thanks to my strict diet of Mountain Dew and twizzlers. We're a twizzler family, red vines have no place in my home. I work nights fighting crime. I'm not saying I'm Batman, but I am saying no one has seen the Riddler in Austin Texas.
Carolina V 2.0 Tinder Edition Updates
-minor bug fixes
-improved selection algorithm
-new pictures (bikini pic added)
-performance enhancements: summer tan
-multilingual support
Actually several thousand years old idk why it says 21 lol
Downside: I've only been nailed once
Upside: I would die for you, so you know I'm committed…
Also my dad is a pretty big deal. He always beats me in dreidel
Swipe right if you need some Jesus in you.
I'm on here because I'm trying to date your dad.
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